It Could Happen To Anyone


Have you ever had an experience and you asked yourself, how could this happen to me? You might even say, I knew better but I stayed anyway!!

Well, I know I’m not the only one who has gone through this experience of staying in a relationship too long. It wasn’t because I didn’t know any better.

I most definitely knew, especially with my experience as a family therapist and relationship coach, that what I was living through was unhealthy.

I made so many different excuses for all the abusive behaviors and all the inappropriate interactions. It was the over empathy in me that wanted to see the good in what I was undergoing. It was the glimpses of the nice person that kept me hopeful that more of that would expand at some time, sadly that day never showed up. 

It was my deep desire to see the breakthrough of light so that I could accept how long I stayed.

It was more my need to see the transformation then to accept the truth.

People have questioned how I could’ve stayed for so long. They’ve asked what was wrong with me for staying. All of these puzzling questions, I’ve also posed to myself in hopes to have clarity.

The truth of the matter is that I was in love with the illusion of what the person could be.

I knew there was a side of love, compassion, greatness and goodness but the glimpses of that side became less frequent throughout the years.

I had to accept that there are people out there living out in their shadow side where they don’t want to share their light side or don’t know how to stay there. I did learn a lot from this experience. I know that there are many people going through the same situation and I can guarantee it won’t get any better. We can’t change what we don’t accept as our truth. If someone wants to stay in the dark side, they are allowed to do just that. 

It was my need to see their best and my obsession to change them or make them step into their greatness, that kept me committed for so long.

It’s time you step back and look at how you have stayed too long in a relationship in hopes the other person will change. In your ability to see their greatness and being in love with all the possibilities of what they could become.

I honor your courage and empathy but it’s time you see the light and step into your truth. There is a whole world out there waiting for you to live YOUR LIFE and let go of living in hopes of change in someone else. Honor yourself for what you’ve endured and love yourself enough to walk away.

Love and light,
Aileen C